1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:50,832 Hey guys! I got a good one, do you want to hear it? 4 00:00:51,457 --> 00:00:52,748 Shut up Hopkins! 5 00:00:54,166 --> 00:00:56,582 What do you say to a black man in a uniform? 6 00:01:01,374 --> 00:01:05,874 Excuse me Sir, I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke please! 7 00:01:08,582 --> 00:01:09,873 You're a fucking hillbilly, Hopkins! 8 00:01:10,166 --> 00:01:11,582 Say that again snow white!? 9 00:01:11,916 --> 00:01:14,207 Say that again snow white!? 10 00:01:14,832 --> 00:01:16,957 You're just jealous of my big black dick that's all! 11 00:01:18,999 --> 00:01:19,582 Shut up! 12 00:02:15,416 --> 00:02:16,666 Hey guys, I've got another one! 13 00:02:18,166 --> 00:02:18,999 Do you know why black people... 14 00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:31,791 Ninjas! 15 00:02:43,749 --> 00:02:45,040 Get some! 16 00:03:16,041 --> 00:03:18,874 Jenny! Stop playing those stupid video games and go outside! 17 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,082 Yes mom! 18 00:04:57,082 --> 00:04:58,915 One minute! I'm coming! 19 00:05:25,041 --> 00:05:26,374 Your pepperoni, ma'am. 20 00:05:26,666 --> 00:05:27,624 I didn't order any pizza! 21 00:05:31,291 --> 00:05:32,874 With extra 9 millimeter. 22 00:05:46,457 --> 00:05:47,457 Mom?! 23 00:10:34,457 --> 00:10:36,207 Darling! Breakfast is ready! 24 00:12:01,957 --> 00:12:04,332 Do you know why Americans don't have hemorrhoids? 25 00:12:05,499 --> 00:12:07,332 Because all the assholes live in Canada! 26 00:12:07,999 --> 00:12:10,165 Hopkins! You old sack of shit! 27 00:12:16,332 --> 00:12:18,123 Did they give you bionic balls too? 28 00:12:18,416 --> 00:12:20,332 You know I've already got balls of steel! 29 00:12:32,624 --> 00:12:33,999 Okay, let's not break your new toy!! 30 00:12:34,332 --> 00:12:35,582 It's good to see you again, John! 31 00:12:36,124 --> 00:12:37,624 Shit, you look like somebody's secretary! 32 00:12:37,999 --> 00:12:41,249 An Air Force Uniform, and you get all the pussy, dude... 33 00:12:41,999 --> 00:12:44,624 So I left the Army! You want me to hook you up? 34 00:12:44,916 --> 00:12:47,207 I'm good pussy-wise, man, and you can keep your desk job. 35 00:12:48,124 --> 00:12:51,249 Holy shit Hopkins, for all those years I thought you were rotting in a rice paddy! 36 00:12:51,541 --> 00:12:52,624 How did you survive this shit? 37 00:12:52,916 --> 00:12:54,082 The usual routine... 38 00:12:55,207 --> 00:12:58,707 It all started when those fucking gooks unleashed raptors on my ass... 39 00:14:00,666 --> 00:14:01,791 Fuck off bastard! 40 00:14:06,499 --> 00:14:07,582 Fuck off bastard! 41 00:14:14,957 --> 00:14:16,790 Hey Hopkins, need a hand? 42 00:14:28,166 --> 00:14:32,082 Come on, you fucking bastard commie lizards swingers... 43 00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:37,249 Come on Kowalsky! Get to the chopper! 44 00:14:38,582 --> 00:14:43,082 Yes, we are gonna have a little party, oh yes a nice little party just you and me 45 00:14:45,207 --> 00:14:47,748 A party, a little party, a nice little party... 46 00:14:55,041 --> 00:14:57,124 That was the last time I saw Kowalsky... 47 00:14:57,541 --> 00:14:59,249 He was a nice guy... For a Polack! 48 00:14:59,541 --> 00:15:00,499 Fucking mess... 49 00:15:01,832 --> 00:15:03,248 I wonder what became of Snow White... 50 00:15:04,916 --> 00:15:07,374 So! What brings you to the boondocks, Hopkins? 51 00:15:07,666 --> 00:15:09,457 I've got good news and bad news John. 52 00:15:10,374 --> 00:15:11,040 Good news first. 53 00:15:11,832 --> 00:15:13,123 They murdered your ex-wife. 54 00:15:13,541 --> 00:15:14,541 Shit... 55 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,124 No more alimony! 56 00:15:23,041 --> 00:15:24,207 And they took your kid! 57 00:15:27,041 --> 00:15:28,374 Don't mess John! It's up to the police to handle this! 58 00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:30,082 Tell me everything you know, Hopkins! Spill it! 59 00:15:30,457 --> 00:15:32,207 We're not in Vietnam anymore John, there are laws here! 60 00:15:32,791 --> 00:15:33,582 I can't say anything! 61 00:15:33,874 --> 00:15:35,040 Now you listen to me, you son of a bitch! 62 00:15:35,332 --> 00:15:37,707 You've never been able to put your dick in anything but fat-mama san! 63 00:15:38,041 --> 00:15:39,166 You don't know what it's like to have a kid! 64 00:15:39,457 --> 00:15:41,040 That's fucking cold, John... there was that girl in high school... 65 00:15:41,666 --> 00:15:42,416 Where, when, how?! 66 00:15:43,457 --> 00:15:45,623 You have no clue about the shitstorm you're about to walk into... 67 00:15:45,916 --> 00:15:47,207 Walking in is the easy part, 68 00:15:47,541 --> 00:15:49,666 it's walking out without your dick in a sling that's rough... 69 00:15:53,249 --> 00:15:55,749 A joint operation between the FBI and the Air Force 70 00:15:56,041 --> 00:15:58,207 has been set-up to nail a big weapons dealer. 71 00:16:00,041 --> 00:16:02,541 As of yet we don't know who he is or where he operates from. 72 00:16:03,166 --> 00:16:04,166 What's the deal with my daughter? 73 00:16:04,582 --> 00:16:07,582 You will not believe me John, but his men... they are ninjas! 74 00:16:08,082 --> 00:16:10,165 Shit! Those fuckers again! 75 00:16:19,749 --> 00:16:22,957 I’ve gone undercover into a gang of bikers, and I’ve set up a deal in a few days. 76 00:16:23,332 --> 00:16:24,957 We are gonna nail them John, don't worry! 77 00:17:16,666 --> 00:17:18,124 On time, as promised. 78 00:17:49,291 --> 00:17:51,999 Do you know why your ancestors roamed the desert for 40 years? 79 00:17:55,666 --> 00:17:57,999 Because an asshole lost a coin! 80 00:17:59,124 --> 00:18:01,040 Freeze motherfucker. FBI! 81 00:18:09,541 --> 00:18:10,499 Surprises! 82 00:18:10,874 --> 00:18:12,499 I love surprises! 83 00:18:12,916 --> 00:18:14,749 I love surprises! 84 00:18:17,207 --> 00:18:18,457 Hey Hopkins! 85 00:18:21,041 --> 00:18:22,707 How is your arm doing? 86 00:18:42,541 --> 00:18:43,207 Shit! 87 00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:54,499 Freeze! 88 00:19:16,082 --> 00:19:17,915 Greetings from Smith and Wesson! 89 00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:36,290 John... 90 00:19:37,374 --> 00:19:38,040 You! 91 00:20:32,291 --> 00:20:34,416 Come closer... I'll speak... 92 00:20:48,749 --> 00:20:49,665 Where is my daughter, you motherfucker!! 93 00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:51,498 It's not a way to treat an old friend... 94 00:21:02,624 --> 00:21:04,665 Reunions, I love reunions! 95 00:21:42,541 --> 00:21:44,332 Hey John! I almost forgot! 96 00:21:44,749 --> 00:21:47,582 If you want your kid back, I've got a job for you! 97 00:21:58,249 --> 00:22:01,540 Fuck! If I'd known I was going to die today I would have gotten laid... 98 00:22:01,832 --> 00:22:05,082 Hold on Hopkins, it's gonna be ok! Hold on! 99 00:22:05,499 --> 00:22:08,374 You know, there is something I never told you John... 100 00:22:12,416 --> 00:22:14,666 You know, all that racist bullshit... 101 00:22:16,582 --> 00:22:17,665 My old man... 102 00:22:18,291 --> 00:22:20,624 He died in a concentration camp... 103 00:22:20,916 --> 00:22:22,041 Shit, Hopkins, I didn't know. 104 00:22:26,249 --> 00:22:28,499 He fell from the guard tower! 105 00:25:46,541 --> 00:25:50,666 Colonel, the American is here, the American is in Val Verde. 106 00:25:50,957 --> 00:25:52,123 Thank you, Bernardo. 107 00:27:30,916 --> 00:27:31,749 Don't worry... 108 00:27:33,624 --> 00:27:35,040 I'll keep an eye on him... 109 00:28:08,207 --> 00:28:09,290 It will have cost you an arm! 110 00:28:13,957 --> 00:28:14,665 And a leg! 111 00:30:36,332 --> 00:30:38,457 Beautiful! Bravo, John! 112 00:30:38,957 --> 00:30:40,957 I hope my little warm-up... pleased you! 113 00:30:41,249 --> 00:30:42,249 Where is my daughter, motherfucker! 114 00:30:59,124 --> 00:30:59,915 Jenny! 115 00:31:14,749 --> 00:31:19,249 Sargent Kowalsky was part of my experiments when I was working for the Soviet Union... 116 00:31:20,916 --> 00:31:24,541 like your friend... “Snow White”. 117 00:31:24,874 --> 00:31:26,499 Unfortunately, he didn't survive. 118 00:31:29,291 --> 00:31:31,416 You could have been a wonderful guinea pig, John! 119 00:31:31,707 --> 00:31:36,040 If only that... goddamn Colonel Yin didn't let you go... 120 00:31:36,332 --> 00:31:38,915 Well, let's get to the point... 121 00:31:39,582 --> 00:31:43,790 John, you are known to be the best warrior in the world, and I need you, 122 00:31:44,124 --> 00:31:45,332 to train my Ninja Army 123 00:31:45,999 --> 00:31:50,457 and set-up a new world order, thanks to my new organization... 124 00:31:51,166 --> 00:31:52,541 The Pentangle! 125 00:32:03,499 --> 00:32:04,915 Kowalsky let her go. It's me John! 126 00:32:06,541 --> 00:32:07,624 Don't sweat it! 127 00:32:08,124 --> 00:32:12,624 His brain has been replaced by a powerful 4 Mhz microprocessor, to make him 128 00:32:13,457 --> 00:32:15,790 a perfect little soldier! 129 00:32:17,666 --> 00:32:20,541 So... what do you think of my proposal, John? 130 00:32:21,041 --> 00:32:23,832 If you want your kid back, then you gonna cooperate, right? 131 00:32:27,332 --> 00:32:28,540 Kiddy wants to say something? 132 00:32:30,707 --> 00:32:32,915 Kill all these bastards until the last one, dad! 133 00:32:33,207 --> 00:32:34,040 That's my girl! 134 00:32:38,582 --> 00:32:39,873 To the helicopter, quick! 135 00:32:45,166 --> 00:32:46,082 Daddy! 136 00:32:48,999 --> 00:32:50,582 Sargent Kowalsky, stop! This is an order! 137 00:33:21,124 --> 00:33:22,957 No, no, no, no, no, no! 138 00:33:23,249 --> 00:33:23,874 Yes! 139 00:33:31,124 --> 00:33:32,999 Lower! Lower! 140 00:33:33,291 --> 00:33:35,916 Lower! Come on! Lower! 141 00:33:45,207 --> 00:33:46,373 Farewell John! 142 00:33:48,166 --> 00:33:49,916 I think our little deal is off! 143 00:33:51,666 --> 00:33:54,374 But don't worry, I will take care of your daughter! 144 00:34:14,457 --> 00:34:16,290 I can look after myself, you creepy bastard! 145 00:34:24,207 --> 00:34:25,748 Kowalsky it's over! 146 00:34:26,749 --> 00:34:28,082 It's me, John, remember? 147 00:34:28,791 --> 00:34:30,291 Let her go. 148 00:34:33,166 --> 00:34:34,291 I told you to let her go! 149 00:34:34,707 --> 00:34:36,457 I told you to let her go! 150 00:34:40,541 --> 00:34:43,166 What are you doing Kowalsky, don't mess! I told you to let her go! 151 00:34:45,832 --> 00:34:47,123 Daddy! 152 00:34:47,416 --> 00:34:48,457 Jenny! 153 00:34:49,041 --> 00:34:50,416 Daddy! 154 00:34:50,749 --> 00:34:55,165 No! 155 00:36:34,874 --> 00:36:35,874 You are an American! 156 00:36:36,541 --> 00:36:38,332 But in your blood must flow Ninja blood! 157 00:36:39,749 --> 00:36:40,957 As says the Ninja Code, 158 00:36:41,541 --> 00:36:43,999 I must teach you the art of Ninjitsu! 159 00:36:47,791 --> 00:36:48,416 Teach me! 160 00:39:21,457 --> 00:39:25,290 A true ninja knows how to master the 4 elements, 161 00:39:26,541 --> 00:39:30,249 but you need to master the fifth element! 162 00:39:35,916 --> 00:39:36,957 Air... 163 00:39:40,957 --> 00:39:41,873 Fire... 164 00:39:44,957 --> 00:39:45,873 Water... 165 00:39:49,457 --> 00:39:50,373 Earth... 166 00:39:56,249 --> 00:39:57,499 and time! 167 00:40:00,457 --> 00:40:01,748 Focus! 168 00:40:03,791 --> 00:40:05,832 Forget all of what you knew... 169 00:40:06,874 --> 00:40:09,082 Don't walk into the past... 170 00:40:10,207 --> 00:40:12,165 Don't dream of the future... 171 00:40:13,041 --> 00:40:14,332 Focus! 172 00:40:15,041 --> 00:40:16,166 And what will be... 173 00:40:16,874 --> 00:40:18,082 will be! 174 00:50:02,082 --> 00:50:04,457 Remember, my American disciple... 175 00:50:04,749 --> 00:50:09,249 only a Commando Ninja, can kill another Commando Ninja! 176 00:50:12,124 --> 00:50:14,915 There can be only one true Ninja! 177 00:50:16,124 --> 00:50:19,457 But Senseï, did you train any other Commando Ninja's before me? 178 00:50:21,916 --> 00:50:24,249 I've had another disciple before you, 179 00:50:25,457 --> 00:50:26,415 very strong... 180 00:50:27,707 --> 00:50:28,665 formidable! 181 00:50:31,249 --> 00:50:32,874 But that person strayed from the path 182 00:50:33,874 --> 00:50:35,790 and was lost to the dark side! 183 00:50:37,041 --> 00:50:39,582 Now they are... a Red Ninja! 184 00:50:44,082 --> 00:50:46,957 The day will come, my American Disciple. 185 00:50:47,249 --> 00:50:48,374 You'll know. 186 00:50:49,291 --> 00:50:52,332 And you'll have to cross the fire of destiny alone! 187 00:50:54,624 --> 00:50:55,624 Now go! 188 00:50:56,124 --> 00:50:58,332 Commando Ninja! 189 00:53:41,707 --> 00:53:42,915 No! 190 00:53:44,166 --> 00:53:45,416 Wait, John! 191 00:53:46,707 --> 00:53:47,748 Lori, is that you? 192 00:53:48,041 --> 00:53:49,124 Yes it's me, John. 193 00:53:51,124 --> 00:53:54,290 Lori, your wife, remember? 194 00:53:54,707 --> 00:53:56,123 But you're dead! How is this possible? 195 00:53:57,499 --> 00:54:00,749 The Colonel Kinsky time travel device. 196 00:54:03,082 --> 00:54:06,082 The Lori who was murdered was a Lori from another space and time... 197 00:54:07,499 --> 00:54:10,540 So this is why those fucking Ninjas were always one step ahead of us back in 'nam! 198 00:54:14,874 --> 00:54:17,624 When Kinsky first discovered that technology... 199 00:54:17,916 --> 00:54:20,957 he first hired out his services to the Soviet Union. 200 00:54:23,166 --> 00:54:23,999 Then... 201 00:54:24,291 --> 00:54:26,041 as he became richer, 202 00:54:26,332 --> 00:54:28,332 his thirst for power grew and grew! 203 00:54:29,416 --> 00:54:30,666 Jenny? Where is she? 204 00:54:31,707 --> 00:54:35,082 Into the future John, in 1998... 205 00:54:36,416 --> 00:54:38,916 where the colonel is secretly training his great army. 206 00:54:40,207 --> 00:54:41,415 Send me into the future! 207 00:54:41,957 --> 00:54:43,332 Do it, for Jenny! 208 00:54:53,999 --> 00:54:55,165 Bring her back, John... 209 00:54:56,082 --> 00:54:59,707 Everything could be back like when we were a family. 210 00:54:59,999 --> 00:55:02,582 You, me and Jenny! 211 00:55:09,791 --> 00:55:11,374 I don't like your new pajamas! 212 00:55:46,791 --> 00:55:48,541 There can be only one Ninja! 213 00:57:09,499 --> 00:57:12,540 Holy shit... the democrats must have taken over. 214 00:58:10,666 --> 00:58:12,041 I'm looking for my daughter, have you seen her? 215 00:58:42,707 --> 00:58:46,123 I hate punks! 216 01:00:13,707 --> 01:00:15,415 Hey, dad, it's been a while! 217 01:00:18,416 --> 01:00:19,332 Jenny? 218 01:00:21,957 --> 01:00:23,457 I missed you so much, dad! 219 01:00:29,707 --> 01:00:30,790 How is that possible? 220 01:00:31,332 --> 01:00:32,665 We left each other 20 minutes ago! 221 01:00:35,374 --> 01:00:37,499 I think we've got a lot to tell each other, dad! 222 01:01:02,207 --> 01:01:03,123 Jenny watch out! 223 01:01:05,207 --> 01:01:05,832 Dad! 224 01:01:36,041 --> 01:01:36,957 Kowalsky! 225 01:01:37,749 --> 01:01:39,457 You fucking commie toaster! 226 01:01:39,791 --> 01:01:40,332 Wait, dad! 227 01:01:40,624 --> 01:01:41,665 I reprogrammed Kowalsky, 228 01:01:41,957 --> 01:01:44,040 he helped me survive all those years without you, dad! 229 01:01:44,582 --> 01:01:45,582 He is with us now! 230 01:01:47,332 --> 01:01:48,665 Nice to see you again buddy! 231 01:01:57,666 --> 01:02:00,541 There may have been some glitches on the language pack when I rebooted him! 232 01:02:45,041 --> 01:02:47,374 Did I ever tell you about the Irish man who didn't want to die? 233 01:02:47,666 --> 01:02:48,124 Hopkins! 234 01:02:48,541 --> 01:02:49,666 Uncle Hopkins!